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Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is
lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
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A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to London. I heard prostitutes there get paid £400
for doing what I do for you for
free."
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees
her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to
see how you live on £800 a year".
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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected 2 litres
of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a head of
lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee and a 250g pack of
bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated," You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her
six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're
absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly."
"COS URE UGLY"  
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25.04.2007, 15:45
